....

Well, today is just one of those days.

You know, one those days where you just feel so lonely, and disgusting? Well, today I am having one of those days. I haven't really done much today and the times when I was out and about I felt good. But for the mass majority of the day I have been in my room doing nothing, and let me tell you it's not fun. I feel like I am all alone in this world, and it makes me feel disgusting.

Like I said in my last post, I have felt like the weight of the world is riding on my shoulders. It's as if every single sin that I have committed in my life is put on a screen and I am continually watching it. Now, let me reassure you, I am NOT depressed what-so-ever, it's just one of those days, where God is testing my faith and basically calling on me to spend more time with him. I know that God is only doing this to test how faithful and obedient I am to him, and it seems like I am failing sort of, yet I'm doing great. Haha, it's a really complicated situation, and I think that's what God wants. I think he wants me to re-evaluate how I'm feeling, and realize that I need to stop acting dumb and spend more time with him. I mean, I read my bible enough, I pray enough, and I spend enough time in worship, but in reality is "enough" really enough? I don't think so. I need to go above and beyond "enough" and spend every waking minute with him. When I went to Haiti, I spent every minute of everyday in the word, in prayer and in worship....now that's what I want my life to be like again.

It's days like today that I am super thankful that my life rests in the hands of my wonderful creator! I couldn't imagine feeling like I do today without God. I would be so lost and confused, and my life would be crap. I am so grateful that I am a Friend of God, and that I am worthy enough to be called his child.

Today is one of those days, it may not be the best day ever, but I'm happy I'm having one of those days! I am happy that I am forced to think about my relationship with my amazing Heavenly Father, and forced to want to get to know him more, and am forced to spend more and more time in the word, in prayer and in worship-some of my favourite things ever to do!

I hope that you all will have days like today, and that you a forced to think about your life, and what you are living for.
Think about it; what are you living for? What keeps you going in life? What do you want to be remembered for?
I know I want to be remembered for my faith in God, and for all the things that I do in this world, because ultimately they are for God, and having the reward of knowing that he is proud of me is the best thing ever!

I love you all, and I hope you all just have "one of those days"
Stephanie