Perfection?

So today I was watching Glee(yes I am a gleek!) and it really inspired this post.
They were talking about "being born this way". Yes, they were referring to the Lady Gaga song, as that is what they were singing, but the deeper meaning behind the whole reason for them choosing that song was really encouraging and inspiring.

In today's society, all around North America, and even the rest of the world, people both young and old battle with self esteem issues. There is always a part of a person that they don't like. With this Glee episode, each glee member touched on their imperfections, and it really got me thinking. It instantly brought me to my all time favourite bible verse.

1 Corinthians 13:10
"But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappear."
 And you know, this verse is soooo true. That day when we stand face to face with God every single one of our imperfections are going to be washed away. Exciting isn't it? I think it is, but that time hasn't come, and there are still soo many people struggling. So in this moment, I believe we, as a people of God have been called to lay those feelings at the feet of Jesus, and to help others do the same.

One other part of Glee that really stuck out was how each and every glee member wore a T-shirt that displayed their insecurities. Most of them weren't what you see in everyday life, like the fact that a person can't dance, or sing, or has the wrong coloured eyes, but ultimately, a lot of people struggle with those aspects of their lives. I think it's about time that we get past the fact that the only type of insecurities a person has is weight, height, intelligence, etc, and start helping the people who struggle with the fact that they can't dance, or doesn't have the right kind of hair. Now don't get me wrong, the sort of insecurities we see in everyday life are important, but I think the hidden ones are just as important too!

If I had a T-shirt with my insecurity on it, it's definitely say "socially awkward".
What would your T-shirt say? How are you going to come to terms with it and accept that God made you that way for a reason.
Sure I don't like being socially awkward but that makes me unique :)

Listen to this song, it's good!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qewj8EsMaFQ&feature=related

Stephanie :)

A fresh start....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1bxlDAjGCo&feature=BFa&list=PL339DD2676812C0A7&index=13&shuffle=765176

You know lately, I have been stuck in that valley I was telling you all about, and this morning as I was sitting listening to music waiting to skype with my sister, the song posted above came on, and I decided that it's my time to move on. It's finally my time to get out of this valley. I need to stop saying I will, and then don't; now I am for real!

I'm going to start my journey off with going to Haiti. For the past couple nights I have been having doubts about my trip, and whether or not I am going for the right reason. My best friend Beth is younger than me but she seems to have the right things to say. I mean somedays I feel like because I'm older than her that she really doesn't understand me, therefore she isn't able to give good advice, however that is not the case. This girl is amazing and always knows what to say when I need to hear it, even if I don't want to hear it! ha. Well we were talking about how I thought I needed to deal with myself before I can go help others, and she said to me that she thinks this is a special circumstance "that it may be the rare occasion where I can do both", and you know what, I am coming to believe that. I really do now believe that God is going to use Haiti as a way to help me get out of this valley for once and for all..ya I realize that I will be back in the valley at another point in my life, but it'll be for a different reason. I feel like going to see the people of Haiti and what they go through will help me realize that what I have here in Canada is enough, and that I need to stop thinking about myself, and starting serving the Lord.

So, I am moving on. I am so ready to start my life fresh, and get on with it. Good-bye valley, hello mountain :)

What am I going to do you ask?
Well, I am going to go to Haiti, Pray more, read the living word more, worship more, and most of all I am going to be a shinging light to this world. I am going to live a more positive life- no more of this "I can't do it" or "I don't like" I'm done with that! I'm moving onto "I can do this" and "I love life"!
I'm going to take up new hobbies. Continue with sports(soccer), but now I am going to take up photography. I used to be so artistic in the sense of music, but I gave that up, so now it's time I take back my artistic lifestyle. I am going to blog more often, and I am going to LOVE life to the fullest!

God is sooooo good, and I am just so ready to go into this world and let my light shine :)

Stephanie

Down by the Valley....

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." --Psalm 23:4

You know, lately I have just been experiencing a downtime with my faith, and have been stuck in this valley. Ya sure when I write my blogspots I seem fine, however, heres the thing...when I write my blogs I usually put aside my struggles and fears in order to encourage others. I live to encourage people, and when it comes to life, I put others first and don't really think about myself unless it's absolutely necessary. I guess that's where my life being stuck in a valley comes in. For the longest time I have tried to make sure other people- that being friends and family- are okay, and I kind of just let my self sit off to the side until I felt it was the right time to deal with my problems. I'm not sure if I will ever really know when it is the right time to deal with my problems, but I guess now I am coming to realize that my time is coming soon. I'm not sure if I feel this way for the right reasons, but I'm just so sick of being stuck in this valley and feeling like a sack of crap.

As time flys by and the amount of time I have before I go to Haiti becomes less, I really feel like I need to get out of this valley. I feel like if I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of the people in Haiti I need to get my life figured out. well, maybe not figured out exactly since that takes forever, but perhaps just get a little bit of an idea as to why I am stuck in this valley. I have been recently re-evaluating my life and figuring out what sorts of things, people and events I want to be apart of my life.

I was recently talking to a new "friend" I guess you could say about my up coming trip and just life. She was asking me what sorts of things are putting me in this valley, and what sorts of things I need to do in order to get out of this valley. I'm not a really good talker, and I'm not good with expressing my thoughts. Give me a pen and paper (in this case a computer and a blog) and I could write it all out for you, but when it comes to talking about my life and the problems I face, I just can't do it. But after I talked to her, I felt like I was actually right, that I really didn't know what put me in this valley for so long, and I'm not really sure what I need to do to get over it. But as I got to thinking later this night and as I start this blog and let my thoughts and emotions just flow out, it seems as though God is making it clear as to why I am stuck in this valley, and why I have been here for so long. As I get to thinking, I feel like these reasons and solutions have been made clear to me for soooo long, but it's like I have been ignoring them.

For most of you who read this blog, you would know that my sister died when I was 10. I was so young that I really didn't understand what was going on, and I felt like I had no one to really talk to about this issue. None of my friends related to me because they didn't go through something like this. Since I was so young I really didn't have a grieving process, in fact I really didn't know how to grieve. I felt like I had no guidance when it came to dealing with the death of my big sister. I guess I would say that my grieving process started the year I got back from Katimavik, so the summer before grade 12, all throughout grade 12, and up until now. As I reflect on my relationship with God, and my family, it seems as though I have lost contact with pretty much them all. Ya, I mean I live with my family when I'm not at University, but it just seems empty at home, same with my relationship with God. I know he's there, I pray, I worship and I read the living word, but there has always been something missing. And I guess all along I knew what it was but I just didn't want to admit it, or even face the fact that that is the reason as to why I was and still am sort of running from God and am stuck in this valley.

My sister. I have been just so angry with God for taking my sister, and although I won't know the reason as to why she had to go so early, I am still angry at God. I felt like the one person I needed most in my life was taken away, and I wasn't sure if I could forgive Him for that. There have been a lot of other heartbreaks and heartaches in my life that I didn't think I could forgive God for and I have, but it seems as though this anger is just sooo huge that I couldn't forgive him.

So what's the thing that is putting me and keeping me in this valley you ask....the anger that I have toward God for taking my sister. I feel like I have been so angry and have been focusing on the fact that God took her so much that I have lost touch with friends, family, and most importantly God. So what do I need to get out of this valley? I need to forgive God and look forward to the amazing things and people he is going to put in my life. I need to realize that ya, she may gone from my life in person, but she will always be in my heart. There are so many memories that I have with her that will keep me going.

It's about time that I get out of this valley and start living my life fully for God. I am soo ready to be over this time of crappiness and to just move on. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because it's definitely not, but I think it's important for me to get over this before I venture over to Haiti.
Wait, I say get over all this...I don't mean that. I'm never going to get over the fact that God took my best friend, my big sister, and my inspiration, rather I need to forgive God and give him the room to work in my life.

I'm so ready God, so just use me and teach me how to forgive and just live my life to the fullest for you. I used to be sooo on fire for you God, and I pray that I can get back to this spot. I pray God that you will help me to find it in my heart and in my life to figure out the ways to get past my anger and resentment that I have for you, and towards my family for not being there when I needed them most. God I pray that you will help me to find the strength to talk about this with my family, and help us to grow. I just love you soo much God and I am soo ready to be out of this valley and worship and praise your name on a daily basis! In your name I pray, Amen!

Stephanie :)

The power of prayer!

Jeremiah 42:3
"Pray that the LORD your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do.”




As most of you know, I am heading off to Haiti. In 28 sleeps I will be on a plane starting my journey. I am so incredibly excited to go over to Haiti and see what God has in store for me!
 
For the past little while I have been praying for Haiti, and they have definitely been on my heart.
The power of prayer is crazy, and I believe through prayer anything can happen, God will make a way.
 
When I first became a Christian prayer was the absolute last thing on my mind. I thought that I could just read my bible(which I didn't do often), listen to worship music, attend church, and act as a Christian; I failed to realize that the greater aspect of living a life of a Christian is prayer! I really didn't realize how important it was in order to further my relaionship with God.  Over the past year, since Haiti has had their earthquake, I have found myself praying soo much more, and I love it. I love being able to just spend loads of time in prayer. It's great!
 
If you pray already, I encourage you to pray more and keep on doing it! If you don't pray, and you feel that emptiness in your relationship with God, I encourage you to start praying. It's crazy what the power of prayer can do to your relationship with God. It is so cleansing, and wonderful! Start a prayer log;write down all the things you pray for, it's great and really helps develop your relationship with God and others!
 
I am praying for you all!
 
Stephanie :)

The unthinkable?

Lately, it seems as though I have been doing the unthinkable!
This past week it was join twitter. Something I never thought I would join because I was annoyed by peoples constant facebook updates via twitter. BUT, I've joined forces, and let me tell ya, during exam times when my facebook password has been changed by a friend to stay off it, twitter has become my substitute! oopsie!
either way, for those of you who read this, follow me on twitter :) name- stephanietree

What kinds of things have you been doing lately that you would consider the unthinkable?

Stephanie :)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

I'm a 19 almost 20 year old women, and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never experienced Love, nor have I experienced the worldy things that come along with a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. For the longest time I thought this was bad, and I thought I was alone forever. I really didn't take into consideration the Lords will. Being almost 20 and in my first year of university, gaining new friends and talking about relationships and how much I've missed out, and how much they experienced I found myself always jealous because that's what I have so longed to have.  It's really bothered me that I haven't been able to experience these things, and I started to feel like I would never get to. I was convinced that I was going to be single for the rest of my life. That is was the Lords will that I stay single and never experience a boyfriend, husband, and ultimately love.

As this year has gone on, God has really been working in my life to show me that it is not my time. I always had the picture in my mind that I would live happily ever after with my husband until we died. We would grow old with each other, and we would be highschool, or even university sweethearts. Once the idea of highschool sweethearts was a bust, that's when I began to think God didn't have a mate for me. But as I read through the Corinthians Paul is reminding me that Love is Patient, and that in time my "other half" I guess you could say will come. I am not usually the one to be hung up on the fact about love, or even really want it. I guess I just never really shared it or indulged in that lonliness in my life.

I remember watching 16 and Pregnant(ya I know haha) and one of the teens wrote a blog while she was on the show, so being the curious person I am, I searched it. I found her blog, and she was just so inspirational. But anyways, one of her blog posts had a song by Brooke Fraser in it. The song is call "Love is Waiting" and once I heard it, I was reassured that God has a plan for me, and in time he will reveal it to me.  One line of the song says "Love is waiting 'til we're ready" and oh man, is that ever true! I have now learned that I'm not ready. Ya, sure I'm almost 20, most people would say that's the point in someones life when they are ready, and it's the age when people should be considering marriage, but it's not. The Lord has showed me that it's not my time, and that there is still sooooo much more things that I need to do before love comes my way. There are still areas in my life that God has to work on, and is slowly beginning to do that. I know in time love will come, and I will eventually get to be like that old couple I had always imagined I would be with my future husband.

What has the Lord been doing in your life recently? What areas were you completely wrong about, and are finally realizing that God has a better plan for you?

I hope and pray one day you all will find Love, and if you have hold onto it and remember "Love NEVER fails". If it was Gods plan it'll happen :)

Trust in the Lord and he shall provide!

Stephanie :)




I am Second; are you?

Recently I have been stumbling upon very inspirtational things.
The other night I came upon this website and it's really inspired me to think about how I can make myself second when it comes to my relationship with the Lord, and in my life. Instead of putting myself first and always thinking about Stephanie, why not think about others before I think about myself. I have been thinking about what life would be like if I didn't buy a new pair of shoes for myself, instead bought a pair for a person who really needs them. I think it is about time I delve deeper into my relationship with Christ, and put myself second in my life.

Are you second? If so, how did you get to that point? What trials and tribulations have you endured that you have finally realized it's time to be second? If you're not, what can you do to make yourself second.

Think about it..the reason you are here today, living in this world, hopefully happy and content is because of the Lord.

Thats all from me folks.
Stephanie :)

- http://www.iamsecond.com/

Here am I Lord.

As I sit here at my desk, trying to study for my up coming exams I can't help but let my mind wander. Studying is just oh so boring to begin with, but add to my boredom that fact that I am heading to Haiti in about a month, my mind just can't help but wander and think about the people of Haiti. While procrastinating tonight I decided to check out some of the cool videos they provide on the Global Expeditions website. After browsing for a good hour, I came across the last video that I hadn't watch. It was the very last video on the list, and man am I thankful I came across this!

This song is basically what my life has been for the past couple months. It talks about being so ready to be used by God, and to serve him. When I first applied to go on this missions trip I really don't think my heart was where it was supposed to be. I really wasn't thinking about going to serve my Lord, I was going more to help these people(awesome) but also to just go to say I went on a missions trip, and got to experience traveling outside of Canada! However, over the past couple of weeks as time ticks away and my trip becomes closer the true reasons as to why I have felt complelled to go on this trip have been made clear to me.

Growing up in a family that was not religious what-so-ever I didn't think I would be in the position I am in now. I mean my family didn't go to church, didn't pray, or anything. We all knew God was in existence, and for the most part believed in him. We weren't really ones to believe in evolution(atleast I think, I've never really asked my family), but this sort of thing(faith, missions, church) just seemed sort of silly. When I turned 10, my sister died and my family seemed to some what fall apart. We had just gone through what we thought would never happen to our family. We didn't really know what people felt when they lost someone so close to them until it actually happened to us. I felt as a young child, losing their 16 year old sister, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do with my life. My big sister, my inspiration in life has just died, and I was left without anything. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing parents, and 2 amazing other older sisters, but until you lose someone you don't know just how much they mean to you. I lived a pretty charmed life when I was younger. We were pretty well off, we had friends, good grades, and we were a pretty close family. Ya, sure we fought like most families but we were pretty content. But it seemed when my sister died, my content, close knit family sort of fell apart. I mean we still talk, we still do things together, but it seems as though the fun times started to minimize. I felt lost, I felt like I really couldn't talk to anyone about my feelings. (I'll have all you readers out there know that emotions are the hardest things for me to express. I really dislike sharing them and talking about them because I feel like if I don't talk about them, I don't have to think about them...horrible I know.) I was so young and so were my friends, that none of us really knew how to deal with it or even talk about it. I didn't feel comfortable talking about it with my parents or my sisters, because I just didn't understand what exactly had happened, and I felt like I was disappointing people if I were to ask questions about what happened, I felt like I was required to understand.

After a couple years(maybe 2) of searching and feeling like I couldn't relate to anyone, or really had comfort in my life I turned to God. I felt like God was the only thing that could fill the void of my sister (which he hasn't completely) and I felt like I could finally live my life again and not be so sad. Although I became a Christian about 7 years ago I still have my low times when I question God, when I question why exactly he took my sister from me, but I have learned that I really will never know those answers until I face God on judgement day. As the years went on my desire to serve God and to just do what he wanted became prominent in my life. I can say that I really never acted on what God has told me over the years because I was scared and felt judged by my family. I am still to this date the only Christian in my family and that presents a lot of struggles. In this past year, my first year of university, as I sit in my dorm room with minimal friends(i'm very intraverted) and none of which are Christians, I find myself spending more and more time with God. Yes, I still have the days when I don't interact as much as I should but I find that I am able to just sit with God and listen to him and serve him. Now this is where my original post idea comes into play(haha sorry about the LARGE bunny trail).

I applied to go on this trip with Global Expeditions in February and was accepted almost instantly. I was so fired up and ready to go on this trip, until the stressful aspects came into play. I knew that I had to fundraise and do paper work, but I didn't realize how crazy stressful it would on top of school work. I prepared myself for this by obtaining help from my best friend. She has been an amazing help throughout this process, but I still felt like giving up. She told be over and over again that it may not seem worth it now, but it will be once you are there and when you come back. Beth would say that God has given me this opportunity and that he is going to use me and work in me before, after, and while I am in Haiti. It is now that I am just beginning to realize this. As I was searching those videos on the GE website, the song Here am I, came across(the very last video I was talking about) and once I heard it(infact I have been listening to it on repeat as I write this song) everything became clear. The reasons as to why I decided to apply for this trip, and the reasons why I have raised all the money and will be venturing off to Haiti in 30 days, and that simply is because I am just so ready to be used by God and serve him.

So God, Here am I, I am yours, use me to further your kingdom and to bless the people of Haiti.
I am super excited to go and just live my life for God.

This was a super long post..sorry folks! haha,
But I pray that my words will bless atleast one of you who read this(if people do)
I want to challenge each and everyone of you to delve deeper, to find the reasons why you serve our awesome God, or why you don't. If you do, step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Bring a new person to church, or go on a missions trip...further the Kingdom of God, and your relationship shall be furthered and deepeded with him. I pray that each and everyone of you reading this, and for the ones who don't read this, that you will be blessed, and the God would use and each everyone of you in an unique way!

God Bless your socks off!!!
Stephanie :)

heres the link for the song!
http://www.youtube.com/user/GlobalExpeditions#p/u/7/mUXOaeePBFY

Travel Time Again!

Wow, it has been years(literally) since I have written a post on my blog, but I think it's about time that I start using this again! For those of you who read my blog(if any) you would know that I started this blog to share my thoughts while I was off doing my 9-month travelling program called Katimavik. Well I have been back from this program for about 2 years, and it was the best experience of my life!! I don't have time to go through my time there with you, but I shall later(I promise). For now, I shall talk about my new experiences coming up. Some of you who read this may have me on facebook, and will already know my news, for those of you out there who stumble upon my blog and don't know me I have been given the most amazing opportunity in my life to venture off to Haiti to serve my wonderful God. I will be leaving May 13th and I am super excited to just give my all my God and let him use me while I am in Haiti. I am super excited to see what God is going to do in and through my while in Haiti, as well as how he is going to use my team to serve and honour his name. Galations 6:10 says "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." God has given us many opportunities in life and as Christians it is our duty to follow his will and do what he says to serve others and help them. God has given me the opportunity as a believer to travel to Haiti, and I am going to do exactly what he commands. With this opportunity comes many challenges and obstacles to overcome. One of them being finances. My trip is pretty expensive, but God has come through and wowed me like always and my finances have been completely paid for!! Praise God!!! Thank you to all my fellow church members at Crossroads Alliance who helped make this possible :) Well fellow bloggers, it is time for me to sign off. I am going to try my hardest to keep posting and keep you all updated on my trip and everything that comes with it. Heck, I'll just try to update you on my life and try to encourage you all. Stephanie :)