and life goes on...

Well, life has gone on.
Seasons have come and gone, and I feel like I'm living a bitter sweet life right now.

I finished on my second year of University, not exactly how I had wanted to..but I got through it. I started my summer off probably on the wrong foot, but I slowly regained my balance.
I went to Colombia for a week in May, and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. God did some amazing things in and through me, as well as the people of Colombia that we encountered. I was Blessed greatly, and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for the things that God showed me while on the trip.

My dream in life is to make a difference in someones life and really actually, truly believe that I did, and I feel as though that dream came true while I was in Colombia. I'm not going to explain the stories here in this blog, because well, you would be reading for days, but let me tell you, God used me to help some young girls change their minds and not make life altering decisions. I was able to use my story, and my life as a living testimony to these girls to help show them that some things they were doing, weren't really the best things for them, and definitely were not things they are wanting to do if they want to live a life for the Lord.

So, yes it does seem like my year that ended not so great was turned around greatly while I was in Colombia...and it's true, it did. I returned after a week in Colombia, and felt as though I was right where I needed to be in my life, and in my walk with Christ. But it seems as though that's what it is supposed to be like once you return from a missions trip. Super on fire for God, crazy madly in Love with Him, and feeling like nothing can bring you down, but like most cases, it's just a "high" and then we all go back to living our lives how they were before. I'm definitely guilty of this, and I know that most others are as well. And I would be lying if I said that didn't happen to me, but this time it was different. I knew that I had came down from this "high" of Jesus, but I was still hanging on. Most often times, it's totally noticeable. I mean, people can tell, but this time I was able to fake my way through it. It was as though I had learned how to trick people into believing that I was this crazy happy person who loved Jesus with all their heart...but I was...however, maybe not to the extreme that I was showing.
Now please don't misinterpret what I am saying. I'm not some crazy depressed person who really has no faith..I'm not saying that one bit, but what I am saying is that I was not completely truthful to myself, or to Jesus, or to others, really.

You know, as I sit here at school, I wonder why and how I let my life get to what it is now. I'm not saying that my life is bad, or something that I regret or don't like, but I definitely think it could be more.
I'm starting off with a fresh start-or at least trying to- and trying to keep a positive life, where I fully rely on God for my strength, wisdom, knowledge, courage, joy, and pure love and direction.
But, the past 2ish(or more) weeks that I have been at school, I have realized that no matter what happens, or how I feel, how I act, and no matter how much I ponder what and why and how things are happening like they do, life goes on.

Life goes on..wow, such a powerful and bold statement, but it's oh so true. No matter how much people, and even myself hate to admit it, life does go on. You can try to control your life, I can try to control my life, as much as we, as much as I want, but life is just going to keep on trucking on. I can't stop my life, I can't pause it, I can't edit it and add things in, or take things out, because in all reality, my life is going to go on just as God has planned it to.

So why sit and wait? Why question, why try to change things, why try to control things? God is in control, and life's gonna go on.